Laying Low

Ugh. Nothing is worse than a Spring cold. The days outside are crisp and sunny, beckoning for you to come out and play, but I can barely drag myself from the bedroom to the living room. I have spent the day inside, with my hair pulled back and stains on my sweatshirt. I'm carrying around a box of kleenex like a purse. I imagine that I look as disgusting as I feel.

This day had not been without upsides, however.

1/ Having Nyquil-induced dreams
2/ Coming to the realization that reality shows are popular not because we love to watch people win, but because we love to watch them get humiliated
3/ Reading in bed without guilt
4/ Taking long, hot showers without guilt (I may have wasted water, but think of all of the gas that I saved!)
5/ Letting the man of the house order dinner without guilt
6/ Vicks Vapo-Rub. I love it today as much as I did when I was a kid. And it works.
7/ Taking naps with my cats and dog in bed with me
8/ Finding a forgotten bag of chocolate-covered almonds and eating them in bed (shhh, don't tell!)
9/ Giving myself a facial mask and falling asleep with it on - my pores are extra tight!

Maybe I Don't Want to Know

Last night I had a really weird dream. I have no idea what it meant. I was with some people in a room and all of a sudden there were 2 squirrels at the window, and they put on a little show for us, holding things in their paws, talking in funny voices, etc. They were delightful!

After the show was over, it was time to go. We were taking a train somewhere, so everyone started gathering their luggage together. I had my suitcase but couldn't find my purse anywhere. "Damn it! I think those squirrels stole my purse!"

Then I heard twittering laughter from outside, and the culprits scampered away with my purse and all of its contents.

"You guys, I am so screwed! I have nothing, no I.D., no money! All of my credit cards were in there. Damn it!" I was livid.

"Well, Liz" someone said, "You really ought to watch your purse more carefully. They are squirrels, after all."

"Those bastards!"

See? I just don't want to know.