Not Bridget Jones' Diary

Through some online glitch (ok, it was on Facebook, I confess) I was able to watch the first two episodes of Showtime's new series "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" which premieres next Monday, June 16. It is good! Set in London, it is based on the life of Hannah, aka Belle de Jour, who is a high-priced call girl who really loves her job. What makes it interesting is her dual life: the racy adventures as Belle, and the normal girl life as Hannah (her job is a secret from her friends and family). The show is based on the blog of a supposed real life call girl, and aired on UK tv before being shown in America.

Billie Piper as Hannah/Belle is wonderful to watch, and she draws us into her world by talking to us through the camera, which reminds me of the early episodes of "Sex & the City". Even her large closet reminds me of Carrie's, and from the previews, the wardrobe in this show will not disappoint.

Showtime seems to do well with stories centered around on somewhat tortured, modern-day heroes who have unconventional, edgy lives: Nancy in "Weeds", Hank in "Californication", Dexter, and even Henry XIII in "the Tudors". In fact, they have paired "Diary" with "Weeds" in a pin-up girl style poster, with the tag line "It's a business doing pleaure with you" - clever. Belle is a fine addition to this crew, and I look forward to seeing her character unfold.

Love that the opening theme music is Mark Ronson. This is one to watch!

Down on the Farm

...the funny farm that is! Welcome to the life of Denise Richards, cray-cray celebrity du jour. Her new reality show, "Denise Richards: It's Complicated" debuted this week on the "E" Channel. And you know what? It's actually pretty simple. She's flippin' nuts.

The show is unexpectedly entertaining and watchable. I love her Illinois accent (just a farm girl at heart), coupled with her sailor mouth (well, maybe not so much). She says in the intro that we may only know her from "Wild Things" and the tabloids, but her actual life is all about family. She lives in a big house outside of LA, with her dad, her 2 young daughters, 10 dogs, 2 cats, 2 or 3 pigs, some horses, 2 assistants...in other words, surrounded with creatures that have no choice but to find her fascinating, lovable, and who have to do what she says. Yay, family!


And despite, or perhaps because of all of this, I find myself liking her. In her own words, "I can't help it, I just like f**king hot guys with big d**ks!" Well, who doesn't? At least she's honest. She seems to have a pretty good time, playing piggy matchmaker or watching her assistants pick up dog shit in her backyard. She may be wacked, but she is a hell of a lot more interesting to watch than poker-faced Lauren Conrad on the Hills, or those awful Kardashian women.

Watching Denise call different stud farms to try to find sperm for her pet pig Charlotte (because she feels that Charlotte would make a great mother), you can't help but draw a parallel to her interview with Matt Lauer, in which he asked DR about an email allegedly sent to Charlie Sheen asking for him to donate his sperm to her so that she could have another child. She denies it but, you know, what's good enough for Charlotte...

Tonight's episode was peppered with a nice little tidbit of irony (purposeful or not, I am unsure). At every commercial break, there was an announcement that Charlie Sheen got married today, and that his new wife Brooke Mueller may already be pregnant. Ouch. Somehow I don't think that Brooke will approve of her husband paying alimony to his ex-wife with his little swimmers.

OMG OMG

And here we go, straight from highbrow to lowbrow. So I am channel surfing, trying to find a show to have on in the background while I complete my Christmas cards. Rick Steves' European Christmas Special! Excellent! But oh no, it's over and now they are trying to get me to pledge money, nooooo.....

Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip. *pause* Flip back.

OMG! It's a "Laguna Beach" Marathon! Of the first season, no less, the season that I have never seen.


Hello, my friends! Oh, how I have missed you. What drama lies in store, I wonder? LC is failing her senior year and she can't go out?? Steven and Kristen are hooking up? Oh, ya'll, it's going to be looooooong night.

You may underestimate my addiction to Laguna Beach. Let me tell you a little story, actually two. So, last year I was driving to the Alemany Flea Market with Jude. I am anxious to share some news.

Me: Oh, I wanted to tell you that one of our friends got a new car. It's a BMW, like a 4 X 4. I just can't remember who it is...

Jude: Which one of our friends would get a BMW 4 X 4?

Me: Hmmm. Ummmm....oh. Never mind.

Jude: What?

Me: I remembered who it was.

Jude: Who?

Me (sheepishly): Kristin from Laguna Beach.

Jude: Liz! You have been watching that show WAY too much.

Me: I know.

(Hysterical laughter ensues)

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And here is incident #2:

I have this dream in which Charles tells me he was friends with Kristin Cavilleri in high school. I say "What? You never told me that. You have to introduce me!" So Charles agrees to take me to a party at Kristin's house. I am soooooo nervous. I really want those girls to like me. When we get there, Kristin comes up to us and tells me that she really likes my barrette. I am so happy!

When I woke up, I was so mad that it wasn't true.

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Well, bitches, I gotta go. Me and my friends are going to Cabo (episode entitled "What Happens in Cabo..."), and you know what that means! Drama!!

Another Opening, Another Show

So I spent at least a year waiting like a fool for HBO to start or continue their series, being strung along and tortured to the point where I started to resent the shows, the characters, the writers, the network - whoever was in charge for making me play this horrible waiting game for an hour of decent TV one day a week. Damn, I was so loyal. And then I watched the shows die off, only to be replaced by bizarre or boring sucessors (ok, to be fair I do like "Big Love", but someone please explain "John from Cincinnati" to me). Still, I touted the superiority of HBO as the only television worth watching.

Unbeknownst to me, SHOWTIME was starting to come up with some shows of its own. And...hold on to your seat...showing them regularly. They were good shows, at that. Last week I decided that I was going to give "Weeds" a chance, after hearing rave reviews of this sleeper of a series, from people that I trusted.


Oh my fucking God, I love this show!! I watched the entire first and second season in about 2 days, staying up until 3am, thinking about the characters and their problems like they were old friends, trying to remember all of the funny lines I could. The writing is brilliant, and the acting is excellent. It's not entirely funny and it's not entirely serious, it's outrageous and real at the same time, it's made up of beautifully imperfect characters...in short, it's great, and it totally works. Tonight was the premiere of Season 3, and it looks very promising. Mary Louise Parker could not be more adorable, and Elizabeth Perkins and Kevin Nealon have found the best roles of their careers.

There is a new series that premiered right after "Weeds", called "Californication". Our hero is David Ducovny, as a blocked writer and womanizer - really, a pretty self-centered deadbeat of a guy, neither doing the ex-husband or dad thing all that well, and clearly on a downward spiral. He's fully aware of his situation, and is smirking as he takes us down his self-destructive path with him - charming us in the way only David Duchovny can.


Again, the writing is sharp, the characters are well-developed, and it has the right blend of humor and painful truth.

I think that Nancy-Pants and Hank would be friends. I can see them talking and laughing about their fucked-up lives over dirty martinis in Nancy's kitchen. They both have lost loves who they miss (Nancy's dead husband and Hank's ex), and they are both eloquently bumbling their way through parenthood. Alas, our hero and heroine may never meet. But lucky me, I get to spend my Monday nights with them, and I am grateful to have their company.

HBO who?

Design Star

Todd Davis, a friend of our through other friends (who happens to share his birthday with Charles), is currently on the HGTV show Design Star. Design Star is like Top Chef, but for home designers. It is so surreal to watch someone you know on TV! So far, Todd's doing a great job. On the first episode, he built a killer indoor skate ramp. It showcased at once his artistry, carpentry and athletic ability.

Go, Todd, we're rooting for you!