Creepy

Shaken, not Stirred

The rumble starts inside you. It is like a split second warning of what is to come. Your mind doesn't even have time to process, all it can think is that something is happening. Then you hear the rattling and feel the shaking. Beneath your feet, it is moving: the floor, the ground. Your structure is moving: your house, your office - wherever you are. Sometimes it feels like being in a boat rocking in rough waters, or a plane in heavy turbulence. What is disconcerting is that what should be stationary, is moving.

All earthquakes are different. Some start out fierce and end quickly. Some take their time and rumble steadily, and then stop.

Tuesday night at 8:00pm we had a slow, steady shaker, 5.6 on the richter scale. Almost 12 hours earlier, I was sitting in the same chair in my living room, and something made me look up at the wall sconce. I thought to myself, "I wonder if we are going to have an earthquake today?" I don't know what made me think that - I do not usually have premonitions. I wonder if it was something I felt inside, a very early internal warning?

I do not feel scared during earthquakes. I go into a slightly anxious auto-pilot - my body tells me to move. So I find the nearest doorway and go there (where it is structurally safest), and then I look to make sure that nothing is falling off of the walls or shelves. I scan the rooms to make sure the animals are ok. I see Charles moving, standing in front of a valuable sculpture or near the wine glasses that I haven't put away.

Our house has stood since the early 1940's, and was retrofit by the previous owner. Earthquakes are not new to this house. And as a Bay Area resident for almost 10 years, they are not new to me either. We ride it out together, respectfully allowing the earth to shift and settle itself, reminding us of its strength and foundation.

Good Grief

I just finished watching a great special on Charles M. Schultz on the PBS American Masters series.

Charlie Brown is one of those characters that everyone can relate to. Despite his constant frustration ("Rats!" "Good Grief!"), he always maintains a certain optimism and never gives up entirely, always sticking to his beliefs even when he finds himself alone by doing so.

"Sparky" had the same integrity. I learned about how he unfailingly monitored his characters and the Peanuts brand, down to every punctuation mark. It is because of him that "A Charlie Brown Christmas" is the classic that we know today - without him, the network would not have used children's voices, insisted on a laugh track, and would not have allowed Linus's wonderful speech on the meaning of Christmas. In other words, it would have been formulaic, dated and ultimately forgettable.

One of the interesting things that was said on the program was that America is not a place that is very forgiving of failure. This is true today, and must have seemed especially so during the 50's and 60's when Schultz was in his prime. Yet Charlie Brown often fails as what he sets out to do, and the other kids know this and make fun of him. Discouraged, alone, bested by everyone including his own dog...no wonder he's a such a serious kid.

The man behind the comic strip is a grown-up version of Charlie Brown, although the actual character (along with many of the other characters) was based on someone that Schultz knew. He was a quiet person who just wanted to write a comic strip, and never dreamt that he would become so famous. He was both a good family man, and very distant - and his first marriage falls apart even though they seem to have the perfect life. Just like all of us, he was flawed, and he found a way to express his fears and insecurities through humor. One of the best lessons is that what we are in childhood, we are in life - whether we are Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, or Snoopy. It is not life that changes, just how we deal with it. I always root for Charlie Brown, even though I know he is never going to kick that football. I cheer him for getting up every day and trying.

Good ol' Charlie Brown.

Intention

I haven't written about yoga once since I started this blog. It is because, especially over the past few months, my practice has been sporadic at best. I always thought that I had great intention, just lousy follow-up.

Today I went to an afternoon flow class at Yogastudio, where I have had a membership for a little under two years now. It was Cynthia's class - she is one of those teachers who makes you work hard, but in an understanding and fun way, full of positive energy. She is very much in tune with her students, which makes it feel like you are taking a class from an old friend. Because I have that comfort level with her, I always feel very relaxed in her class.

At the beginning of the class, Cynthia asked us to think about our intention. Why are you here? What do you want to accomplish today? This is a common subject that yoga teachers talk about, intention. Usually I say to myself, well, I want to have a good class, I want to get better and go deeper in my poses, I want to quiet my mind, I want to feel good. Then when we start stretching, my mind often goes back to where it was before - wrestling with a problem, or simply going over my checklist of things to get done later. I try to be spiritual, it's just that it doesn't always stick.

Today, I decided that I was going to try to apply the same discipline to my mind as I apply to my body. I cleared out all of my other thoughts, and challenged myself. What was my intention? Why was I there? What came to mind was this: "I want to feel a shift".

With that, I had a focus for my practice. A shift does not just happen. If you do the same things in the same way, nothing changes. So it made me work a little harder, trying to feel that shift. I paid attention to my posture. I took my time going into poses, making sure I felt right before settling into the positions. When my limbs got tired and started to shake, I held the pose as long as I could. I tried to imagine myself in another time and environment, stretching and growing into the space. I forgot about the other people in the class and if my shirt was riding up in the back.

It was towards the end of the class that I felt it. We were in pigeon pose, which requires your hips to be very open and your hamstrings to be flexible. I have issues with both, but I love this pose and I was determined to hold it. I started to feel tight, and I wanted to release it - but I didn't, I stayed in it. I tried to imagine my muscles expanding to accomodate my wishes. And then I felt it - the shift. Mind over matter. My wanting to do something and working hard to achieve it.

After class I felt amazing. There were areas of my body that felt that they had been opened for the first time. Mentally, it was like a door opening - the door of possibility.

I think I have a better understanding of intention now. It is what we apply to something to give it meaning. It takes an action or a series of actions and brings them together to become something unified, something with a purpose. It makes us respect what we are doing, in all things, and with this respect elevates the ordinary to the extraordinary.

And what a great practice to take a moment to ask yourself this question before starting something, like your day at work. It may remind you of your values, your dreams, or it may tell you that you have lost sight of these and that you need to regroup with yourself. It is not enough just to do something if you want to have growth, you must have intention and with that you can be focused on achieving anything.

Blast from the Past

While driving up to wine country this weekend, we were searching in the glove box for a tire gauge, and instead found one of my old music compilations, entitled Summer Mix 2000. I popped it in, and it was still in great shape. It was fun to open this musical time capsule - hard to believe that it was over 7 years ago that I made it! What were you listening to in 2000?

Side A:
Blur "Tender"
K.D. Lang "Summer Fling"
Van Morrisson "Real Real Gone"
Dido "Thank You"
Moby "Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad"
Santana/Everlast "Put Your Lights On"
Delerium "Euphoria"
GusGus "LadyShave"
Red Hot Chili Peppers "Otherside"
Sublime "Santana"

Side B:
Luscious Jackson "Beloved"
Smashmouth "I Just Wanna See"
Eagle Eye Cherry "Comatose"
Chantal Kreviazuk "Far Away"
Elliott Smith "Wouldn't Mama Be Proud"
Shawn Mullins "Shimmer"
Fiona Apple "A Mistake"
Beck "Mixed Bizness"
Travis "Fear"
Hole "Malibu"
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"

Finally, Disney Gives Us Something Useful

The Disney Princesses Talk About Chlamydia

by Wayne Gladstone

Approximately one million cases of Chlamydia are reported to the Center for Disease Control each year. This startling statistic is comprised of a disproportionate number of teenage girls; young victims particularly susceptible to misinformation and often unaware of the high risks associated with certain behaviors. In an effort to protect our nation’s youth and empower them with knowledge, the C.D.C. sought the perfect spokeswomen to reach these young girls before they came to harm. The Disney Princesses were the only logical choice given their staggering success selling shoes, dolls, dresses, pillowcases, sunglasses, posters, and other willy-nilly items. Now, the Disney Princesses offer their wisdom, compassion, and personal stories to today’s youth.

What Is Chlamydia?

Snow White: Chlamydia is a lot like swallowing a poisoned apple transformed through magic by a witch. Except, instead of a poisoned apple, it’s more like bacteria living on dirty dwarf cock.


Cinderella: The Chlamydia bacteria can grow in the throat, vagina, penis, or absolutely anywhere on that whore “Sleeps-Around Beauty.” Oh, I’m sorry. I mean, Aurora.


Pocahontas: Chlamydia is the only thing I still have from John Smith.

What Are The Symptoms?

Jasmine: I noticed an increased difficulty riding a camel. I remember the pain and swelling. I was so embarrassed I told people I had sand in my crotch.



Belle: The symptoms are subtle so they can be hard to detect. For me, it was a searing vaginal pain when being mounted by an enormous beast, but in a different, bad way.


Ariel: My Chlamydia makes Prince Eric have sex with men. At least, he says that’s why.

How Do You Get It?

Snow White: I’m not a scientist so I can only guess, but I think the smart money is on doing the rusty trombone with Happy.


Jasmine: Chlamydia was invented by Jews.


Ariel: I got it playing a game I like to call “Finding Nemo.”

How Do You Treat It?

Cinderella: Bag the pumpkin coach and use that wish for a clean snatch. Then just hoof it home from the ball.


Ariel: Ask your dad to zap you some new legs.



Snow White: Doc insisted the only cure was a strict two week regimen of dwarf “back door.”

What Are The Effects If Left Untreated?

Cinderella: No one will be friends with you except maybe that tramp, Aurora.


Pocahontas: Your movie will be only a mild success, your people will be slaughtered in the millions, and Disney will be forced to hire dark-skinned Latinas to portray you at their amusement parks.


Belle: Your man will lose most of his hair and shrink dramatically in size, leaving you perpetually dissatisfied.




We at the C.D.C. hope you found this information useful. For more information please contact www.when.you.itch.upon.a.scar.com.

Poor Chinese Baby

Home Sweet Home

I took an online quiz today to determine the best place for me to live, based on lifestyle and preferences. Here are the results, in order:

1. Portland, OR
2. Boston, MA
3. Providence, RI
4. New Haven, CT
5. Seattle, WA
6. San Diego, CA
7. Orange County, CA
8. Oakland, CA
9. Long Island, NY
10. Honolulu, HI
11. Hartford, CT
12. New York City, NY
13. Long Beach, CA
14. Los Angeles, CA
15. St. Louis, MO
16. Little Rock, AR
17. Cincinnati, OH
18. Washington, DC
19. San Jose, CA
20. San Francisco, CA
21. Chicago, IL
22. Manhattan, NY
23. Baltimore, MD
24. Las Vegas, NV

A few things to note:
- Little Rock??????
- New York City is listed twice, both as NYC (11) and Manhattan (21)
- My hometown city (Chicago), my college city (Cincinnati), my post-college city (NYC) and my current residence (SF) are all on the list.
- Prior to this quiz, when asked where I would live if I didn't live in SF, my answer was always Portland. It is ranked at #1, whereas my current city of residence is rated at #20.

Making Waves

At the End of the Day

Last night there was a spectacular sunset. I took Lucy on an evening walk to Fort Funston, the oceanfront park near our house. It is 35 acres of pure beauty and dog heaven. Even though the park was filled with dog walkers and dogs, there was a noticeable stillness as people were mesmerized by the light. It was almost as if we all stood back in respect of nature and its brilliant display.

On the dunes at the south end of Ocean beach, towering above the Pacific Ocean, Fort Funston is one of the premiere dog hangouts on the Peninsula. As its name suggests this park was once a military outpost and two-gun battery that pointed seaward to protect mid-20th Century San Francisco from an attack. The remains of the battery are still intact and add a sense of martial history to the otherwise natural setting of sand dunes, eucalyptus groves and open beach. In addition to its draw for dog owners, Fort Funston is the main jumping off point for hang-gliders and parasailers who fly up and down the dune cliffs overlooking the beach. - SF Dog Parks

There is something about standing on those cliffs, listening to the surf, and smelling the ocean air that is really humbling to me. My problems seem to rise and float away as smoothly as the hang-gliders above us. I can feel the joy of dogs allowed to run free, playing with each other and exploring the grounds. Life exists here in a very pure state. As I look right towards the headlands, left towards the cliffs, behind me at the city, and straight ahead at the magnificent ocean, I feel centered, renewed, and focused. It is truly a magical spot.

Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together

It is no secret that I love food. Two of my favorite foods are chocolate and bacon. But just because you like two things, does not always mean that they should be put together (tequila and table tennis, for example).

Here is a beautiful and unlikely exception, Mo's Bacon Bar from Vosges Chocolates. Put your fears away and go out and get one of these chocolate bars immediately (unless you are vegan, then by all means skip this post). The deep milk chocolate is creamy and rich, paired with crunchy bits of applewood smoked bacon, and then made even more delicious with the addition of Alder wood smoked salt - simply orgasmic. And just like any food that combines the sweet with the salty (kettlecorn, Reeces Peanut Butter Cups), it is highly addictive.

I was given this chocolate as a gift from my friend Kristina, who bought it at her favorite local chocolate shop, Chocolate Covered in Noe Valley. These sweet people know their chocolate.

Being given a gift always wants to make me give back. So, here is a link to my favorite candy website, Candy Blog. Wonderfully organized, with and excellent rating system and amazing photographs, it is a joy to read.

Toto, We're Not in Safeway Anymore

Well, thank God for that! Who wants to go to Safeway, when you can visit our new local food emporium, Oceanview Supermarket? Not me.

Oceanview Supermarket opened on Alemany a few months ago, replacing the ghetto Albertson's (RIP), and apparently pissing off some of the residents of the surrounding condos, but clearly delighting the rest of the population of this part of San Francisco and Daly City. Charles took me on an expedition here, and it was like we had landed on Planet Asia - no country was left unrepresented. Here you can buy Rice from Thailand, Indonesian Peanut Sauce, Chinese herbs, Korean kimchee, Japanese dried seaweed - and not only one variety, a staggering amount.

Here's a clue that you are not in your average American grocery store - check out the "deli":


My inner Filipina was delighted. I mean, there was SO MUCH AMAZING STUFF there - it was overwhelming! I wanted to buy every flavor of Pocky, but thank goodness Charles had some sense and I only got a few boxes (aka whatever I was able to sneak into the cart).

We kept our purchases to a minimum, however I have to say that I bought a really ridiculous amount of frozen dumplings. Some of our purchases included:

Unsweetened Iced Green Tea
Dried Mango Slices
Hot Chili Sauce
Dumpling Sauce
Sesame Oil
Lumpia Wrappers
Sesame Cookies
Dumplings (gyoza, shumai and traditional Chinese ones): Shrimp, Pork, Beef, Vegetable, and one I am now not sure of..?)
Quail Eggs
Strawberry Mochi


They had all kinds of electronic appliances, including every variety possible of rice steamer, hot pot, and for some reason, coffee server.

The meat and fish area was very impressive - with huge tanks of fish looking at you with glassy eyes - catfish, sturgeon, mackerel. At the butcher counter, I saw around 10 entire geo-ducks - definitely the most foul-looking sea creature there is. Then they had a huge frozen fish area with more fish than I have ever seen in my life.

The prepared foods were unequaled, clearly stemming from a time when households had little or no refrigeration. I had to buy this instant Black Sesame Paste after reading the label. It is quite delicious as well, but it is the translation that really makes me happy:


Prices were extremely cheap - and although my carbon footprint just went on a round-the-world tour the minute I stepped inside, I know I will be back again to try some of their dim sum items, produce, and fresh fish.

Rise Up With Fists

So this is the album that has been getting a lot of play in my car lately: Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins. She is a great storyteller who blends her sweet, smooth voice with subtly razor-edged lyrics.

This video, of the song "Rise Up With Fists", is from the Sarah Silverman show. The laugh track is annoying, but the song is great.

I just love those twins!

And the Secret Letter is....P

It's so much fun to go to the Farmer's Market and see what the season has to offer. This Saturday's offerings included a lot of produce starting with the letter P, including

Pomegranates:

Persimmons:

and Potatoes:

There were also a fair number of vendors selling Peanuts in the shell (is there such a thing as Peanut season?), but for some reason I didn't buy any.

I just love Fall - the earth gives it one last shot with all of the rich, dense foods and beautiful colors, before going into a winter sleep.

Banana Cupcakes with Chocolate Ganache

Peach Muffin

This is the first recipe I tried from my "new" cookbook - Have Cake and Eat It Too (from a used bookstore.) It basically gives reduced fat version of all kinds of baked goods. I picked this recipe because I had a few refrigerator-burned peaches that were not good for eating anymore. These muffins came out moist and nice - despite just 3 tablespoon of oil and brown peaches. I can't wait to try other recipes from the book!

This recipe is from "Old Fashioned Blueberry Muffins." I used 3 peaches in place of blueberry and reduced sugar a little bit.



Ingredients

• 1 cup all purpose flour


• 1 cup wholewheat flour


• 4 teaspoons baking powder (I thought misread this - but it's for real -- 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon.)


• 1/8 teaspoon baking soda


• 1/2 teaspoon salt


• 3 tablespoons extra light tasting olive oil


• 1/3 cup sugar


• 1 egg


• 1 cup fat-free plain yogurt


• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract


• 3 peaches - chopped

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a muffin pan with paper liners.


2. Combine all purpose flour, wholewheat flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a small bowl.


3. Whisk oil, sugar, egg, yogurt and vanilla extract together until well combined.


4. Stir dry mixture into the wet ingredients gently until just wet - within 10 strokes.


5. Fold in the peaches.


6. Drop by tablespoonful into prepared pan and bake for 20 minutes. Remove from the pan after a few minutes and cool on a rack.

Balancing Act

This morning at the park, I found myself walking on this curb, carefully placing one foot in front of the other as if on a balance beam.

I was reminded of doing gymnastics in 5th Grade. For some reason, gymnastics was a very serious focus back then - at least it seemed to me that we spent a lot of time on it. I went to a private school with a lot of beautiful equipment - we even had a separate boy's gym and girl's gym on opposite sides of the campus, and boys did boy-things and girls did girl-things. Girls were expected to do gymnastics. I remember thinking, there is no way that I am going to be able to maneuver my body around those sadistic looking contraptions (well, I didn't think "sadistic" back then - more like, totally scary!), flying through the air with only the power of my limbs and my coordination to keep me from plummeting to the ground. No way.

One day I was watching this girl on the parallel bars. Her first name was O'Hare, and she was a very pretty Irish girl with thick, dark hair and white skin, and she was good at gymnastics. Plus she was one year older than me which increased her cool quotient a thousandfold. She did some kind of flippy thing and then reached for the top bar, and missed. And fell. And broke her wrist, right there, right in front of us. Some dumb kid said "the bone is sticking out!" and I don't know if it was or if it wasn't, but my mind conjured up an image of what that would look like. Not good. She was screaming and crying and holding her wrist and everyone was running around trying to help her and I just stood there, frozen. I thought for sure she was going to die. There was no way that was happening to me. No way.

After that, I had a recurring nightmare about the circus. I always disliked the circus - the whole experience just made me uncomfortable and nervous. Death-defying acts? Lions swiping at the lion-tamer? Scary clowns in your face? Not for me. In my nightmare, the tightrope walker is performing her act, without a net, and she falls. She breaks her wrist. The bone is showing, poking out through the skin and covered in blood. And I am frozen...watching, watching. Can't look away. Horrified.

Somehow that year, I got up the courage to try the balance beam, the parallel bars, and the vault. The parallel bars were my favorite, ironically. The vault was fine after I got the hang of propelling myself from the springboard over the vault, and not into it.

The balance beam was hard for me. I didn't like being up there with nothing to hold onto. I couldn't stop thinking "don't fall off, don't fall off" and my thinking distracted me from actually being able to do much of anything. But, boredom proved to be the thing to conquer my fear. It really wasn't that fun just to walk across it or sit on it. So I started trying some stuff - and I fell off a few times. And I got back up. It was fine, and I started to forget about falling down. I accepted that it was going to happen sometimes, and it did, but in between I learned to somersault and spin around and do a spiral and even a cartwheel. And it was fun!

The balance beam is the most like life for me. It's easy to be afraid, especially when you see bad things happen to other people. You can be safe if you don't participate, but then nothing much happens. You can tell yourself that there is no way that you are going to reach your goals, or do something fantastic. Or you can accept that there will be setbacks, mistakes made, and it is all part of the process. And when you stop saying to yourself "don't fall off, don't fall off", it is amazing to find out you are stronger and more capable than you think, and that you can achieve things beyond your wildest dreams. Also, it's a lot of fun.

Two Bridges and a Rainstorm

That is what I went through to get this fried chicken sandwich. Why, you ask? Because it is the best fried chicken sandwich ever! Oh, I'd heard tell of it, spoken of like the Holy Grail by those who had sampled its savory goodness. But I thought, why the hell would I drive to Oakland for a damned sandwich?

Well. I didn't know Bakesale Betty. My bad. You get off of the highway in Oakland, land on Telegraph Avenue, and in an unmarked corner space painted black, you notice that there are more than a few people waiting outside. Apparently, when it is not shitting rain, there is usually a line out the door and around the corner. I was lucky enough to go right to the front of the line, like a little gift from the gods - I don't know which gods - the Lunch gods? I felt like I was at the Soup Nazi - there is no menu, you have to know what you want. So I said very clearly with little expression "two fried chicken sandwiches, please", and shuffled my feet down the line towards the cash register, without looking down.

While they were being made, I ordered a chicken pot pie for dinner. You know it's a foul-weather day when you are making provisions for 2 meals at the same time.

So I recieved my food, got back in the car, and drove back to San Rafael where Amy was waiting at her house to eat lunch with me. Those sandwiches were taunting me from their box, I tell you! As soon as I arrived, we sat down and dug in....mmmmmm! The coleslaw was delicious, the bun was soft, and the chicken was succulent. All elements had just the right flavor and spice, and blended perfectly. It's completely satisfying without being the least bit heavy.

So now I have this sandwich on the brain. I must have another one, soon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, but I would cross two bridges in a rainstorm to get another one of these sandwiches in a minute!

Marvelously Macabre

In the spirit of spooky postings, I am sharing this wonderful video sent to me by my friend Amy. It's based on Edward Gorey's book "The Gashlycrumb Tinies". I absolutely adore this book, and all of Gorey's work.

We are attending the birthday party of our friend's 1-year old son today, so somehow a dose of Gorey seems inappropriately appropriate.

Thanks, Amy...and be careful on the stairs!

It's a Crime

This week finds me surrounded by crime, criminals and ghosts - appropriately casting a sinister and spooky feel over the month of October.

With Charles's brother Danny and his wife Donna in town, a trip to Alcatraz was in order. We have lived here for 10 years and I had never made the trip out there, so I was as excited as they were to visit the famous island penitentiary.

It's quite something to be able to walk the halls which housed such infamous names such as Al Capone, The Birdman, and Machine-Gun Kelley. The island itself is peaceful and rather idyllic, with the sound of the waves and birds carried over the winds of the bay. The cell house looks like something out of a movie, 3 stories of cells in rows named after city streets - Michigan Avenue, Broadway. The cells are tiny and dingy, with each possession carefully arranged in the small space.


It was easy to imagine being confined there, with a view of San Francisco just out of reach, stripped of everything but the bare essentials. Some privileges (mail, books, time in the yard) could be earned through good behavior - but mostly prisoners had to sit by themselves and think. Many plotted escapes, and some may have gotten away. It is not really the conditions that would be the punishment, it is the removal of control in a man's life. Being owned by the state, not being able to make choices. The danger of being around the other inmates must have been very hard - nowhere to hide, and no one to call on for protection. I am reading a book by a former inmate, who I met at the end of the tour, and he said the biggest danger was being sodomized by other prisoners. That alone is far more scary than metal bars, any day - in fact, it may make me want to hide behind them.

Later in the week, I was able to get a half-price ticket to A.C.T.'s "Sweeney Todd" at the Geary Theater.


"Sweeney Todd" has been my favorite musical for many years, ever since I first saw it in London in the 1980's. That was the Angela Landsbury era, so productions were staged elaborately to be on par with the big shows of the time such as Les Miz and Miss Saigon. But it was not the sets or costumes that hooked me - it was the story. The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - a tortured soul carrying out his own version of justice in a putrid, festering, desperate London - and his lover Mrs. Lovett, a calculating, opportunistic, and tenacious woman. Pure evil? Well, it would seem so, yet we have some sympathy for these characters. It is with both apprehension and glee that you watch Sweeney Todd slice throat after throat of his victims, crooning to his "friend", a gleaming blade.

I saw the show again in New York in the '90's and was reminded of how much I loved it. The music, by Stephen Sondheim, is original, catchy and clever - a relief from the tediousness of the Andrew Lloyd Weber McMusicals (don't get me started on "Phantom of the Opera"...ugh).

This new version, fresh from Broadway, was my favorite yet. The director John Doyle created a brilliant twist - instead of a full orchestra, he had the actors playing all of the instruments. It created a more intimate staging, and quite an intense exercise for all of the players. The set was minimal as well, with the creative use of props and furniture to help the audience visualize the scenes. And the characters were a beautiful showcase of oddities - from their sunken cheeks and hollow eyes straight out of a Charles Addams cartoon, to their quirky gestures and movements. This was evident especially in the characters of Joanna and Anthony, previously conceived as the expected beautiful young lovers, now realized as broken characters in their own right. It's easy to see why Tim Burton was drawn to this story, and it will be interesting to see how the movie turns out this winter.

So, I can't help but wonder what separates the rest of us from criminals, if anything? All of us started out life in the same way...some with more, some with less. Is it a lack of morals? A addiction to taking something from others? Psychosis? Ignorance? An overabundance of anger, with a lack of respect for human life? Or just a turn down the wrong path?

Could it be that our fascination with these people merely an exploration of the darkness that lives in our own hearts?

Good Mmmmmorning

It's a foggy Sunday morning here in San Francisco. It feels like the world is covered in a misty blanket, and you can't see beyond the outskirts of any one neighborhood, giving a cozy, isolated feel. It's as if you are on a Scottish coastal island with nothing around you but the sea.

I decided to make blueberry scones for breakfast. On a shopping trip to Cal-Mart (best grocery store, ever!) yesterday, Michael and I picked up mixes from Sticky Fingers Bakery, and the Wild Blueberry sounded perfect. I love having high-quality mixes in my cupboard, and this one promised great scones with the only added ingredient being water. It's so nice to be able to whip up something semi-homemade when you have overnight guests or just have the urge to bake, without taking an extra trip to the market.

They turned out well, and the house is filled with their fragrance. Add a fire, a hot cup of tea, some scrambled eggs, a warm blanket and the Sunday New York Times, and you have a little slice of heaven.

Peanut Butter Cupcakes

Peanut butter cupcakes dipped in chocolate sauce with peanut butter whipped cream frosting.

Happy Birthday Yair!



Now the recipes and where the rest of the cupcakes went...

I searched high and low for peanut butter cake recipe that is not dense. And finally I found this! Where else would it be other than my favourite Epicurious.com. I knew it was promising because it required 4 eggs, a cup of buttermilk and a teaspoon of baking soda and baking powder each. And I wasn't disappointed. Of course, I had to change things a bit because of what I had in the house. I used yogurt instead of buttermilk, 1/4 cup of extra light tasting olive oil instead to replace butter, and only 2 cups of sugar.


Naked cupcake

Ingredients

• Cake


• 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour


• 1 teaspoon baking powder


• 1 teaspoon baking soda


• 1/2 teaspoon salt


• 1 stick butter (room tempurature) + 1/4 cup oil


• 2 cups sugar


• 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter


• 4 eggs


• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract


• 1 cup plain non-fat yogurt



• Chocolate Dip


• 4 oz. semi-sweet chocolate - chopped


• 1/2 cup heavy cream



• Peanut Butter Frosting


• 1 1/2 cups heavy cream - chilled


• 1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter

Runny chocolate sauce because I couldn't wait.
Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line muffin pan with liners.


2. Make the cake. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a medium bowl and set aside.


3. With electric mixer, beat butter, oil and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add peanut butter. Beat until well combined. Scrape the bowl occasionally. Add eggs one at a time. Beat some more. Add vanilla.


4. Alternately stir in flour mixture and yogurt in 3 batches. Stir until well combined.


5. Drop by tablespoonful into prepared pan - fill up to about half full because the cake will rise. Bake for 17 minutes. Cool on a rack. I got 32 cupcakes.


6. While wait for the cupcake to bake and cool, boil 1/2 cup heavy cream in a sauce pan over medium heat until bubbly on the edges - just a few minutes. Pour over chopped chocolate in a small bowl. Stir until chocolate melts and let cool in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes.


7. Dip cooled cupcakes in the chilled chocolate sauce and set aside.


8. Make frosting, beat heavy cream and peanut butter with an electric mixter with a wire whisk attachment until stiff. Gently drop the frosting over chocolate dipped cupcakes.


9. Make 32 cupcakes - enough for 2 parties - a private birthday party - and a house party (that I didn't attend but heard it's fun...)

Making My Own Hot Sauce

When none of the available hot sauce in the market is hot enough - what do I do? I make my own.

Actually, I'm not that crazy.

I had a lot jalapeno peppers left from Tequila Chicken and thought this would be the fastest way to use them all. This is the Mediterranean kind of hotness. It will be fit eating with hummus, grilled lamb, falafel, pita bread, fried rice, Zhechuan chicken, pizza, spaghetti, and many more. I believe it's called Skhug or Schug or Z'chug or etc.... I don't really know. I looked for recipes on the internet and everybody says that it is what you make it to be. So I'm making it to be a really very hot and spicy and galicky sauce.

Warning: Do not eat this before a date, a job interview, a conversation, a train ride, a meeting..... Or maybe you should.



Ingredients

• 6 jalapeno peppers (seeded if you are afraid)


• 1 head garlic - peeled


• 1 bunch cilantro


• 1 1/2 tablespoons ground cumin


• 1/2 teaspoon ground clove


• Salt to taste


• Olive oil to cover

Directions

1. With food processor, pulse and blend everything except oil together until kind of smooth. Keep in an air tight container - covered with oil - in refrigerator.


2. Make a life-time supply of so hot and garlicky sauce that any dracula in the whole wide world will not want to smell your breath.

Fried Okra

This is probably the only recipe I tried after watching it done on TV. It was on Alton Brown's Good Eats on Food Network. After Kung Fu I usually get home by 11pm just in time to watch the show while icing my knees. This recipe is so simple and makes so much sense that I had to buy okra every time I see them on Chinatown's street. And I love the slime....



The recipe is basically cut up the okra, rinse quickly with water (or rinse before cutting if you don't want as much slime). Then toss in generous cornmeal. Pan fry with a little bit of oil. Flip once. Serve and season with salt.

I love it. It feels like a healthier (green) version of popcorn...

Apple Cinnamon Crisp (with Grape-Nuts Cereal)

A while ago I walked down the cereal isle in my local supermarket. And I saw "New Product!" sign above this Post's Organic Grape-Nuts Cereal. So I bought a box. Turned out there was neither grape or nut in there. And the thing tasted like cardboard even with a lot of soy milk. So I thought maybe I can use it for baking. It can't be that bad with sugar and butter.

So I made this:



I have made this crisp recipe so many times. This time I just reduced oatmeal and flour and added the cereal.

It came out good - would have been better without the cardboard though... I'm tired of chewing.

Spinach Pesto

I'm still in love with my new food processor. I need to come up with more excuses to use it. For now, the obvious one: pesto.

Last week I made basil pesto - my first pesto. It didn't come out that well - it was missing something. So I gave it a second try. This time spinach pesto since I feel like eating healthy. I need more green vegetables in my diet. And I think I discovered the secret of tasty pesto: more pine nuts, more garlic, more salt, more oil and more cheese!



With my so awesome food processor, I blended together two bunches of spinach, a bunch of basil, 6 cloves of garlic, about a cup of pine nuts, salt and pepper and about 2 tablespoons olive oil. And then I added about a cup (or even more) of grated parmesan cheese. It was delicious.

Little Houses on the Hillside

Well, I finally found something on the internet to rival watching music videos on YouTube.

My friend Jill sent me a link to the website for TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design), where you can view for free videos of many of the lectures held at their annual conference. The conference is touted as bringing together the best and most progressive minds in our country - whether they are scientists, tech guys, professors, entertainers, even former US presidents - to talk about current issues and concerns. Pretty heady stuff.

In this lecture, Kunstler makes some very valid points about not only the ugliness of some of today's buildings, but also the failure of many of our public spaces to attract people and become "live" areas, which are both useful and pleasing. He calls the building of this sprawl the greatest waste of our resources. I was thinking about the notion of a future lifestyle in which we are not just consumers (takers, not givers), but instead citizens of a society, responsible and participating in our communities and making our country a place that we can be proud of. It makes a lot of sense, but I wonder how and if we are ever going to give up this cycle of consumerism? It is such a self-feeding condition, it may take some sort of catastrophe to force a change.

I felt the sell-out effects of our suburban sprawl very strongly when I had to go on a business trip to Wal-mart corporate in Arkanas. It really felt as though I had entered the gates of hell - raw and naked capatalism built by squeezing the vendors until they were satisfied, and then feeding the product back to hungry consumers who were filling their houses with worthless junk bought on a whim. I call it the "Louis XIV in a Bag" syndrome - people want to create the illusion of living a grand life, but they are only willing to pay $199.99 for this illusion. As a result, manufacturers create factories full of product - resulting in landfills, container ships, people in foreign countries working their fingers to the bone - for throw-away product. I felt my disgust in the pit of my stomach. This was the beginning of the end for me, the turning point at which I knew it was time to get out of my industry. I would rather make less money than feed this beast.

Suburbia as "entropy made visible" is a great line.