Growing up, table manners were something that we were taught from a young age. No matter how casual the circumstances, the basic rules were enforced - this was my parents' way of ensuring that their children would behave appropriately in any environment, and also to teach us to respect our meals and the household in general. The discipline was not always kind - elbows resting carelessly on the table were smacked off of it, and bad behavior resulted in threats to send the offender into the basement to finish their meal. Telephone calls and television were verboten during meals. As hard as it was, I will always be grateful for these lessons, as they have served me well time and time again. A designer that I worked for once stopped mid-sentence as we were dining together and remarked, "You have the most lovely table manners!", which was such a nice compliment. It is definitely a sign of being brought up well.
Witnessing poor table manners is always shocking and disturbing to me, especially in a public place. So often I see people dressed to the hilt, spending hundreds of dollars on a meal, only to roughly saw away at their steak or grip their fork using a crudely shaped fist. It seems so contrary - all of the pomp and circumstance of fine dining coupled with the behavior of hobos around a campfire.
There is an article in the Spring issue of Gastonomica magazine about the history of table manners. It includes a chart which cross-references 3 different sources of manners on a range of subjects, so that you can see which ones have either remained the same throughout the years or been adapted to the times. Here is an example:
2007 Web Page, Ball Sate University:
Never chew with your mouth open or make loud noises when you eat. Although it is possible to talk with a small piece of food in your mouth, do not talk with your mouth full.
1922 Emily Post's "Etiquette":
All rules of table manners are made to avoid ugliness; to let any one see what you have in your mouth is repulsive; to make a noise is to suggest an animal; to make a mess is disgusting.
1609 William Phiston:
Some thrust so much into their mouthes at once, that their cheeks swel like bagpipes. Others open their Jawes so side, that they smacke like Hogges: some blow at the nose. All which, are beastly fashions. To drinke or speake when thy mouth is full, is not only slovenly, but dangerous.
It's amazing to me that with all of the advances in technology, medicine, and culinary technique that the simple act of civilized behavior at the table still eludes some of our population, and that the "beastly fashions" still rear their ugly heads.
